Borrowed Time
by Merciless Past
Summary: -It's like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background, everybody's saying 'He's not coming home now,' this can't be happening to me, this is just a dream...- It ends with a phone call. Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff WARNING! Character death! My aim is to make you cry!


**Story: Borrowed Time **

**Author: Merciless Past **

**Characters/Parings: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff background Tony Stark/Pepper Potts**

**Genre: Tragedy/Romance**

**Rating: T **

**Summary: _It's like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background, everybody's saying 'He's not coming home now,' this can't be happening to me, this is just a dream... _It ends with a phone call. Inspired by the song 'Just a Dream' by Carrie Underwood. **

**Notes: I probably should have posted something a bit happier for my first fanfic but this came out of... somewhere and demanded to be posted. I think I cried while writing this. It's sort of a songfic but I only use some of the lyrics. The song is 'Just a Dream' by Carrie Underwood and I'd listen to the song while you read to get the full effect. No flames please; I know it's sad and not canon but if this isn't your thing: read the warning and don't read the story. **

**I don't have a Beta, any mistakes are my own. **

**WARNING! Character death! Bring some tissues! **

**~Merci**

* * *

"Hey Nat."

"Clint? Where are you? You were supposed to be back an hour ago!"

"Yeah you won't guess who I saw in the street… gah…"

"Clint? What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

"I saw an old friend of yours, remember Petrovich?"

"Clint what did you do?!"

"I killed him Nat, for you. Now you don't have to be afraid."

"Clint for God's sake why are you breathing like that?"

"He may have gotten a really good knife hit in."

"For God's sake! Why the hell haven't you called for help?!"

"They won't get here in time Nat."

…

"No. No no no no no! Hold on Clint, Steve and Tony will be there soon!"

"It's too late Nat, I'm on borrowed time as it is."

"No, don't say that! They'll be there!"

"No they won't Tasha, not in time."

"B-but you can't leave Clint! You can't! Y-you can't leave me… You can't leave us."

…

"Us? Sweetheart what do you mean?"

"I- I was going to tell you when you got back. Clint… I'm pregnant."

"Wow. We're havin' a baby huh?"

"_Sniff… _Yeah we're having a baby Clint. _Sniff._ And you have to be here for it! I can't do it alone!"

"You're strong Nat, you'll be fine. And you won't be alone; you'll have the others."

"But-"

"No 'buts' darlin'. What'll we call our baby?"

"_Sniff. _I- I hadn't thought about it."

"If it's a girl… why don't we call her Alexandra? Nice, pretty Russian name."

"Yeah, yeah I like that. _Sniff._ If it's a boy I want to name him after you, _sniff_."

"Whatever you want baby. You'll… _gasp_… you'll be a great mom."

"Clint, hang on! _Sniff. _Just hang on a little longer, they'll be there soon."

"Heh, this remind you of Budapest Nat?"

"_Sob._ You and I remember Budapest very differently. _Sniff._ Please, just a little longer Clint!"

…

"Nat, listen to me. I love you, okay? I love you so much."

"_Sob_... I love you too. I love you! And that's why you can't leave, goddamnit, I love you!"

"Nat… Love you…"

"Clint? Clint! Clint please! No! No…"

The phone slips from her fingers and shatters on the floor, closely followed by Natasha. She lies on the floor sobbing; thinking _'This isn't happening. It's just a dream. You'll wake up and everything will be fine! It's not happening. It's just a dream! Just a dream…' _

_Oh she just couldn't believe it, _

_She heard the trumpets from the military band, _

_And the flowers fell out of her hand_

They give him a full military funeral. Everyone there is in black or in uniform. She half expects the team to wear their uniforms but they all turn up in civilian clothing. The rain pours down and most of the people are huddling under umbrellas; even Fury and Hill stand side by side, dressed in black as usual under an equally black umbrella. Pepper stands crying quietly next to Tony, who holds her hand and swallows back tears of his own. Steve's face is grim, Bruce is staring sadly at the coffin and Thor is gripping their shoulders. Natasha stands apart from them all. Her face is blank but her hands are shaking.

_The preacher man said; _

"_Let us bow our heads and pray, _

_Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt"_

She and Clint have never been religious but she finds herself oddly grateful for the words the preacher says. Agent Sitwell; who has become their handler after Coulson died, solemnly folds the flag that hangs over Clint's coffin, he served his country and his world, saved it more than once, and that makes him a hero in people's eyes. Clint would say he wasn't a hero; he just wanted to clean some of the red out of his ledger. Sitwell hands it to her with sadness and sympathy in his eyes. She grips the cloth like a lifeline.

_Then they handed her a folded up flag _

_And she held on to all she had left of him _

Steve steps forward and places one of Clint's arrows on top of his coffin. He nods stiffly in respect for his friend and steps back with his jaw clenched.

Earlier Natasha went to the coffin, she touched his cheek and it was cold and so unlike Clint. There was the ghost of a smile that only she would see tugging at his mouth and he looked peaceful. She had let tears run silently down her cheeks as she slipped a fuzzy picture into his hand and smiled shakily.

"That's our baby Clint. It's still growing, and when it's born if it's a girl we'll call it Alexandra and if it's a boy we'll call it Clint, just like we said." She had leaned in slightly and lowered her voice. "Between you and me I think it's a girl. I love you, just know that, wherever you are." She dropped a kiss to his forehead and then his lips and closed his fingers over the ultrasound picture of the life they had created.

Now she watches as they lower the only man she's ever really loved into the ground. Soldiers are standing to the side with their rifles to the ready and she digs her nails into her palms to stop herself crying.

_And then the guns rang one last shot _

_And it felt like a bullet in her heart _

Her knees hit the ground and she buries her face in her hands but the sounds of her wracking sobs still escape. No-one quite feels like they can approach her because no-one understands what she and Clint have. Had. What they had. She isn't even aware of their eyes on her as she cries and can't seem to stop.

Then someone is kneeling beside her and she looks up through misty eyes to see Pepper kneeling next to her. The other woman wordlessly wraps her arms around her and lets Natasha cry into her shoulder. Tony drops down on her other side and wraps an arm around her shoulder. Bruce crouches down and rubs his hand gently across her shoulder and Thor squats behind them with his hand resting on Natasha's back. Steve stand strong behind them reaching down to lightly stroke Natasha's head before standing tall as their leader and protector.

Fury and Hill usher away the other attendants, leaving the Avengers to grieve.

They stay there for God only knows how long, with one of their teammates in the ground and his partner still alive, with another life growing inside her.

And it hits Natasha then. Clint was right; she isn't alone.

Seven and a half months later Natasha lies in a hospital bed, sobbing Clint's name in between contractions as Pepper comfortingly holds her hand and brushes her sweaty red hair off her forehead. With a final push the sound of screaming that isn't her own fills the hospital room and she breathes heavily as Pepper whispers meaningless encouragement and comfort.

"It's a girl," says the doctor and hands the red squirming bundle of life to Natasha. A smile spreads across her face as she looks at her daughter, the baby stops screaming and opens her eyes to look at her mother. Natasha can see already that she will have Clint's eyes, Clint's mouth and her nose. She strokes a finger over the baby's downy soft red hair. "So that's why I've been having heartburn, huh?"

Pepper smiles softly and leaves to give them privacy and deliver the news to the team.

The nurse takes the baby to be cleaned up and Natasha finds herself reluctant to let her go. When she hands her back the nurse smiles warmly at the two redheads. "Do you have a name?"

Natasha nods. "Alexandra Francis Barton."

"Alexandra," smiles the nurse. "Beautiful name."

The middle name is spur of the moment. If Clint was there he would groan and say that it wasn't fair to saddle any child with that name. But it was his middle name, and now their daughters too.

"You know Alexandra, you look a lot like your daddy," Natasha whispers tearfully. "He was a good man; he died so that you and me could live in peace. But he'll always be with us. And he would have loved you Alexandra, he loved you so much, even before you were born."

She looks down at her daughter and, even though she thought she never could, Natasha learns to love for the second time.

A few days later when she trusts the others enough to watch her baby for an hour she goes to the cemetery and stops in front of his grave.

"Well I was right," she says. "We have a baby girl; her name is Alexandra Francis Barton. I know what you're thinking, but Francis is a unisex name and it's only her middle name. She has your mouth, and your smile, your laugh and your eyes. My nose, my cheekbones and my hair." She swallows thickly. "I wish you could see her, I wish you could meet her. I'm making sure she knows who her daddy is; she'll grow up knowing who you were and what a hero you were. I know you say you aren't but the truth is Clint… You were always my hero; ever since you saw humanity left in me that night in Prague." She sniffs. "Why'd you have to leave Clint? I miss you so much. So do the others. I love you, and Alexandra will love you too. I love you Clint."

She traces the writing on the stone and feels an odd sense of peace overcome her. He may not be on earth anymore; but she knows he'll always be with her.

_Baby why'd you leave me, _

_Why'd you have to go? _

_I was counting on forever, now I'll never know_

_I can't even breathe _

_It's like I'm looking from a distance _

_Standing in the background _

_Everybody's saying; 'He's not coming home now" _

_This can't be happening to me _

_This is just a dream… _


End file.
